INITIATED BY THE APPLE TREE & THE DIVINE MOTHER

𖤓 TEACHINGS ON SACRED SEXUALITY - The Wounded Feminine Manifested As Distorted Sexuality

If you have read my most recent post here, you know a little bit about my sexual past. How I became sexually active from a very young age, and how it turned into a long journey of deep diving into some dark sexual waters for many years of my life. I had since my early years been exploring my sexuality freely and without any deeper awareness chosen to utilize this energy from a place of inner wounding. I of course did not see myself as wounded at the time, I thought I was having fun and exploring myself (which I was to some degree). Over the past 4 years I have come to learn about of the grave implications and trauma this has perpetuated within my inner being and how it has been preventing my spiritual unfoldment and growth.

I want the ones who reads this to be aware that I am sharing about my personal experiences. I do not wish to tell anyone how they should live or what they should do with their sexual energy, I just want to share what I have learned from my own observations and inner revelations.

When we use the sexual energy as a means of manipulation (which many women and men in this world unconsciously does) to get someone’s attention, to be approved or liked, or feel good about oneself – we create our own fall. This can be seen as a form of black magic, which feeds into forces in the astral plane that are creating war against the true and sacred. This is perpetuating humanities collective traumas and pain. The sexual energy that is provoked in another person from this place of inner wounding and egotistical desire is directed at that very core distortion and believe it or not, but it makes it bigger. So, if it makes one feel “special” or “seen” by showing off their sexual energy openly – their negative ego/shadow is being fed and elevated by the person who’s getting aroused by them, and this makes it very hard for them to become spiritually pure.

This is something not a lot of people are aware of. It can only really be known through us aspiring to know the true depths of our internal world and earnestly seeking to do so.

I have come to know how this works from living most of my life in this energy myself. I saw myself as sexually liberated throughout my young adulthood; it was a part of my identity to be sexually promiscuous. What I wasn’t aware of at that time was that every time I engaged with someone sexually, I opened myself up to exchange my inner world with theirs, I invited their traumas to enter me, and my distortions was given to them. An endless cycle of demons dancing with one another in the inner worlds. I have over the years come to know how our inner wounding can take forms that are like living entities which perpetually seek to stir us into the same numbing patterns and experiences that creates more pain, trauma, and suffering. It ultimately disconnects us from the Divine and it keeps us stuck in the wheel of karma.

The sexual energy is our Life Force, it is what makes us into God Beings. Through that energy we create life. Once you fully understand this power you also understand the responsibility it comes with. We can create with it, and we can destroy with it. Once you understand the power of your mind – you understand that your thoughts and fantasies need to be carefully chosen. Combine a thought or a fantasy with the sexual energy and you have an immensely powerful creative force. Our fantasies are not “just a fantasy”. I used to think this. That my fantasies are just some imaginary harmless worlds that I explore internally. It is not. It is a creative power that takes a living from in the astral planes. We are creating realities in the higher worlds when we engage sexually with dark, or loving, fantasies. These realities affect our own internal world and the collective consciousness of the world.

I know this because I have been trapped in these internal worlds of sexual distortions for many years and I had my biggest awakening within them around 5 years ago. This was at a time when my spiritual journey was taken to a new level and my psychic sensitivity started coming online. I was at that time in a relationship with a man who has been my biggest teacher of darkness yet. My relationship with him broke me down completely, but this breakdown was what led me to connect with and see my truth more fully – shadow and light – and from that I knew I had to choose to honor my truth with all my heart and get to know myself deeper. When I left this relationship, I moved out to the forest and have now spent the past 4 years of my life living in solitude - healing with, listening to, and learning from nature – which has opened me up to connect with the many dimensions of my soul and inner world.

In this past relationship I learned a lot about sexual demons and dark entities of varying degrees. I was in love with a person who was full of them – of course this could only come into my life as I had internal wounds that made me feel attracted to and blinded by the charm and intense sexual energy this man was radiating. He was mysterious and the total opposite of me, which initiated an experience of a whole world of painful and challenging, yet deeply revealing and interesting lessons that my soul needed. I felt for the first time in my life ready to commit to a relationship and this kind of inner growth and transformation with another soul that I felt was possible in the complex and polarizing dynamic that we had - my innocence and heart was for the first time fully devoted and open.

However, I went from being in love with him to believing he was the devil.

What started as a belief that our shadow was going to transform into the brightest light – turned into even more darkness and my already existing wounds became deeper and I became more lost. I was lied to and manipulated to believe that we were healing together, while I was in fact just food for his lust and perverted fantasies, deluded by darkness masked as pleasure. My own internal shadow which led me to him wanted me to submit and sacrifice my heart to an imaginary love story that I had created in my mind which was born out of my own sexual distortions and wounded self. I believe this exact wound is carried by many women in the world, and it is a challenger - a teacher - that we must meet and transform if we want to purify our inner being and become a vessel for truth and divinity.

Moving through this experience has been one of my biggest initiations in life because I got to know a part of myself that I didn’t understand before. I got to see the demons and how they worked in the inner worlds, and I got to experience how it changed my thoughts, feelings, and personal power negatively when I allowed them to feast on me. I gave them permission to enter me and eat my light, without my full awareness of it. I was blinded by the sexual temptations and deluded by the lies that I was told during this time.

I lived in a belief that “one day he’s going to wake up and SEE me. I just have to keep giving my heart and surrendering to this darkness.” This relationship only lasted for 8 months before I knew I had to leave, but it was the most intense and painful 8 months of my life.

The beautiful thing about this is that it has led me to fully reclaim my power and authority over myself. It has led me to see my worth and value as a being and the cosmic seed in my heart has awakened since. I have learned that my light can only be taken away from me through me allowing that to happen, and it is my responsibility to learn the lessons within these experiences so that I can grow and evolve as a soul.

I am humbled and forever grateful – for his darkness showed me mine. And through that revelation I have taken the steps necessary to get to know it, heal it and transform it into love, wisdom, and power. I see the gift in the dark, I see how it is here to lead us all into our greatness once we understand it.

I have since then been shown how certain past lives that I lived caused this current trauma to exist which has infected my sexual core, my womb – and I am learning that this is not unique to me. We are many that are lost in sexual distortions and pleasure traps in this world, totally unaware of how our activity and engagement in these spheres negatively affect our own inner evolution as well as the collective consciousness.

The sexual energy is sacred. And I must only work with it from a place of purity and love. I must only share it with a man who is equally devoted to serve the light of truth, and who is willing to meet himself through me. As I am equally willing to receive his greatness and weakness with a devoted and loving heart. I want to be devoured and christened by this kind of cosmic love that I am yet to experience with another soul. I have reached a point in my inner journey where I am choosing true love before ego and orgasms. I don’t fall for temptations or distractions any longer, I see through it. I let my heart guide the way and I give my own broken bones to the ardent fire within the temple of God.

SACRED SEXUALITY - HEALING THE SHADOW, PURIFYING THE EGO, AND RESTORING THE DIVINE 

Woman, you are a powerful magician. Your sexual energy has the power to create life and open up the doors to the kingdom of heavens, to the Garden of Eden, and through the process of sexual inner alchemy you may become a vessel for the True Divine Feminine to rise upon the Earth. Yet this can only happen when you have purified yourself. When you have met and mastered your own inner demons. When you have killed the demons of lust, temptation, and selfishness - and the shadow of untruthfulness.

We are asked to refine our passions and transform our desires to aspirations. We must lead our lives through integrity and heart. We must master our thoughts, feelings, and willpower so that we are able to direct our powers to serve the Divine. The ones who are ruled by their unresolved and chaotic inner world or deluded by their own imaginations will have a hard time to become a true intuitive and oracle. We all have to pass through experiences in life which will test our sincerity and search for truth through adversity. Our seeking for wisdom, light and power must come from a pure heart and an aspiration to be in service to the Divine and Sacred, and never to fill the cup of selfishness. Our willingness to see the darkness within our own being, and learn what we need from its manifestation to be able to transform it, will provide a foundation for the seed of light and love to grow strong and bright as the diamond heart emerges from within our inner spirit through this work.

Our own darkness is never just our own - it is a part of the collective soul of humanity. When we learn to understand, heal, and transform our own shadow, we also contribute to the healing of the world. This is a deeply honourable path to walk and great gifts are bestowed upon the souls who tread the path.

If we aspire to do this inner work we must seek to learn from the Divine Mother Goddess, and together with her restore the Original and Sacred template of the Divine Feminine within our own Temple (our body, mind and soul) which has been collectively distorted over the ages. Negative forces have done their work to try and eliminate and destroy the true and sacred in this world, yet it cannot be done for now is the time we awaken and sprout the seed of Christ that we have been cultivating over many lifetimes to finally birth fully into this world as an evolutionary shift. We restore the Divine from within our own internal being. And once we incarnate our soul and spirit, we become stewards for the Divine Feminine, the Divine Mother, and our inner liberation and creative power (sexual energy) will be used to assist in the human and planetary ascension.

By becoming truthful we align ourselves with higher spiritual beings within the angelic orders who will take seeking aspirants under their wings and teach us how to become Virgins again. How to become pure and innocent as children, yet wise and sanctified as priestesses.

We must seek to become fully self-aware and responsible for our life. We must contemplate our personal desires, the effect of our choices, and the nature of our actions. So that we can see what aspects within our inner world that needs to be refined and transformed. The shadow is not just our past wounding and traumas - it is within our lower desires for excessive material and physical pleasures, it is in our egoistic nature to only value our own perspectives or beliefs, it is nestled within our judgments towards other's and our desire for comfort and ease which promote laziness instead of courage to face our fears and step out of our comfort-zones.

Restoring the Divine is something we do internally - by purifying our passions, desires, and ego. So that our higher self can be incarnated.

The heart is the centre we must seek to live from. The bridge between the upper and the lower - the unifying principle - and the seat of our soul. When our consciousness awakens we must continually aspire to cultivate devotional feelings for Spirit and reverence for all of Life. The awakening and initiation of the Soul is a process one must seek internally, it can only be fully realised through active participation and inner transformation which we must engage with individually. We must study ourselves and our inner world deeply. Truthfulness will serve as powerful protection and guiding light for us on the path as this very spirit will open us up to know ourselves. We must know ourselves to awaken the seed of the heart, which is the unique Christ Essence that you have cultivated within your soul throughout all of your past lifetimes as a gift to the evolution of the world in this one.

I believe we must aspire to honour, nurture, and protect this seed - The Christ Sophia Essence. For once you fully honour your highest Truth and live in alignment with your values and virtues of the heart, you will be a guiding light for many others who are on the path. Together we become a collective unit of purifying power and divine inspiration. Together we tend to the sacred fire that will rebirth this world.

Thank you for all that you are, have been, and are aspiring to become. I pray and give thanks for the past self, the present being, and the coming realization of the inner light. For your journey to unfold in grace and joyful expression!

More sharings will come.

With deep love and reverence