12 Holy Days with Rosemary - Community Portal

Dear ones, such a blessing to be here and read all your shares, it really feels like an invisible circle that we are all sitting on. A lot of resonance with many topics. I appreciate every single one of you!

I was feeling a bit disappointed for not having anything to share because I always need to understand and have a reasoning before sharing, but the truth is, truth is still unfolding. The path of true is not linear and it holds a lot of

mysteries hence I just need to accept that and melt into the unknown, even when sharing.

This diet came in a time of deep turmoil with my mother, being back in my family house, old friends and habits coming to be integrated, an old life. Very deep sorrow and grief coming through, for a couple of days I saw all my light disappear and my heart turn back to stone after such a period of expansion. I couldn’t even feel motivated for my biggest dreams and passions. Just pure sadness and anger…

And then I did the cleaning, drank my first cup and meditated, prayed. But it was coming from a forceful place - a “to do” instead of a beingness - the message was clear “you are not allowing the mother in, just relax and allow it” and as soon as I melted into the now a spark of light reappeared in my heart and I got a glimpse of the truth behind all the situation. Slowly my perspective on all thatwas happening started shifting into understanding and forgiveness. She has been a great teacher in finding my own strenght to not victimize myself and be responsible for my happiness. Not allowing other loved ones pains and sorrows to impact me - boundaries, emotional boundaries. Not running away.

She has been a spark of joy in my life and just seeing her or smelling her brings me an honest smile. She has been showing up in moments needed.

Yesterday all that energy turned into tiredness and heaviness. Inertia. I couldn’t make decisions and heavy indecision floating my mind. My heart knew I had to move and be in places my soul needed, but mind was playing tricks. She thought me how to listen to my heart longing vs minds desires.

I can feel also layers of faith vs doubt playing but I keep coming to the altar as promised, building my faith, keeping the spark of spirit alive even when ego tries to make it small.

My dreams are a real mess, people I haven’t seen in years, sexual dreams, a lot of man I had or have attraction for - somehow it feels like she is working in my desires, my heart and my mind. And somehow they are all connected. I know it is a mess but this is where I am at, pieces and bits that I know will unfold in their time. I trust. I keep showing up.

Music has been slow but for the first time I got the courage to try to paint and I love it, this came through and wanted to share with you 🤍

Much love on your and our journeys.

Dear sweet mother, Resemary, Alecrim - I bow in respect, gratitude and honor 🙏