12 Holy Days with Rosemary - Community Portal

Hi lovely people,

This journey has been challenging so far, mostly in that I chose to begin my journey while at my parents' house with my family. I spent many years away from my family and it is only my second year back. There is a lot of tension, and I have been saying to myself: "I can't be myself here".

The medicine highlighted to me the busy-ness of my thoughts and my difficulty grounding into myself whilst here, and asked me to accept that maybe I won't have a deeper connection until I am back home, but to keep sitting with her anyways. A post from someone else about how everything that happens while you're in a medicine journey (your thoughts, experiences...) is the medicine working through you, was a helpful reminder to simply pay attention.

This morning I sat and meditated and was reflecting on not feeling connected and heard a voice clear as day: "you are connected". Aha! Not only that, but she is showing me I AM myself here. Who else could I be?

The medicine is showing me a part of myself I have not connected with much. A very deep, inner self that wants for nothing, but simply to be.

She is highlighting my innate gifts as a caretaker and teacher of children, and my deep longing to be a mother.

My dreams are always very detailed but they have amplified in complexity since beginning this journey. Now they are long, detailed story lines, which I remember clearly. I often dream of a futuristic, apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic world, which I think is perhaps a parallel timeline. I did last night; I dreamt of society collapsing, and I had a child with me who I was protecting.

I don't know what all of it means but I feel we are going through some major collective shifts right now. I know I am hugely on a personal level and feel myself on the bridge to a new chapter and way of life.

I am feeling in awe this morning and my face is stained with tears after listening to your song, Jennifer. Thank you, thank you!